sophia’s travel by night

today, i'm not going to complain. i've a good life to start and i will keep up a good attitude about ths baby thing.

so i was with my acupuncturist, uma, the other day. n b4 she left me alone with the needles in me, she asked me to picture this... imagine tht i was a vessel n ready to receive this love for the baby that will grow inside me. and that all i have is love for this thing.... hmmmm. then the light flicked-on inside me. maybe, just maybe, all this talk of the baby, i just hadn't been feeling it? when i hold my kitty, i feel a lot of love n cuddliness for her. but... when i think about the possible invasion of a creature tht will take over my body (like aliens), feed off me, chg me, grow inside me, n then rip me apart so it can come out n take over my life... hmmmm. i shudder a bit. n maybe. maybe, this is why it hasn't happened for me, this whole baby thing. i just hadn't n cudn't wrap my mind around this whole thing. i guess ths is wht i need to work on, the inside of me need to feel like a vessel... well, something to chew on anyway.

this is a blog by brendon & akua in vancouver. they've built n moved into their new home recently. this is a small footprint house built in the other end of the yard of brendon's parents' house. it's really very green in the way it's built and of course, this is a proof that, who needs a huge house?

i spent nearly all of my life worried about getting pregnant. unplanned n unwanted pregnancy was constantly in the back of my head. i hadn't even thought of it as a big deal when my ob/gyn nurse warned me when i turned 36, tht it'll b difficult to hv a kid by tht age, n tht she was obligated to warn me by "law"!!! cuz baby was just never in my plans back then. i've been free as a bird.  then i turned 39 n got married. life plans sort of took a different turn when 1 has a partner who gets a say in my life now too. so we've been trying to hv ths baby. it's not too encouraging to learn tht altho i'm healthiest 41 (now nearly 42) yr old around me, my eggs r still 40+ yrs old... n that is, i guess, old. nothing like such a news to show u ur age, no matter how u look or feel. so now it's aug turning into sept, i can truly feel what ppl used to say, "the clock ticking away" damn, this used to b no big deal to me. age wasn't an obstacle at...