2012
it's been a long long time since i've written anything down... too many thoughts to figure out. emotions i can't pinpoint. ever since the failed ivf, i mean, a complete failure that even the dr suggested not going further, i've not known what to write, how to put down how i felt exactly. and then, ther'r the ppl that r ever encouraging, suggesting this dr n other dr they hv known frnd's hv used n had success at. or other suggests that once it's over, i'd get pregnant without even trying. it's been nearly 1/2 yr now. i think the fact is, there's not gonna b a child. n now, i just hv to deal with it. i think the worst part is, i can't help the inner feeling of jealousy n envy whenever i hear another frnd or someone nearby getting pregn left-n-rt. it's a feeling i've had to suppress cuz it isn't a good feeling. i don't want to end up being one of those women who hate or gets jaded. i mean, nvr thought ths was in my plans, that ...